Thursday, November 23, 2006

Begining of a Retreat

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." (Helen Keller)

Helen Keller, her life and words has always fascinated me since my school days. We had a chapter about her for English. I still remember as it happened now, it was the first period on that day, and after the teacher took that lesson, I didn’t concentrate much on rest of the class. I was eagerly waiting to get back home. I was so impatient, to meet my father, for the first time in my life!! I had to wait till midnight to see him back from work. Still I waited at the gate and as soon as he reached near by, I asked him to get me a book on life of Helen Keller next day itself. As usual he agreed, though he was surprised by my act. He asked a lot of questions, “why Helen Keller” “What do you want to know about her”. For every question I had only one answer, I want to know more of her. Anyways it took a week for me to get hold of a book about her. And all those days saw a very impatient me. Everyone at home found it strange to see me impatient, something which I was never used to till that day. When I got the book, I read the whole book in one go, sitting in one place. For which I got scolding from my grandmother who was the most influential lady in my life, who gave a valuable advice that day-“To achieve something, you need to be patient”.

Those days I had the habit of collecting quotes or sayings which touch my heart or which makes me think as soon as I read it, something which my father encouraged me to do as a hobby along with idioms. The above quote is one such, which I wondered as a child. I didn’t understand the true meaning of it at that time. I wondered – ‘what would life mean? What would be the lessons it gives?’. I had always wondered about life as a child, and to confess I still do wonder about life. Each time I wander wondering about life, more passionate I become about it. This has continued from those days of childhood to this day. Each time I come out of my wonder world, I find life as a beautiful something which I am yet to see, something close enough for me to see, something at an arms stretch and still I do not know life.

Even now life is something-

“Kannethum doorethenkillum, kandeella
Kaiyethum doorethenkillum, arinjeella”

Life for me changes every time I wonder about it.Now after living half the life, now I think, I truly understand the meaning of this beautiful phrase of Helen Keller. It took me these many years to understand this single phrase. Yes, I have learned valuable lessons in life. And these lessons make the life I lived, and is the light over the new life I am yet to see, that shadows my memories. And I am assured again and again that this light and shadow make a beautiful snap of me.

It tells me that life is very unique to each individual, irrespective to a person’s social status. I find life becomes sweeter after I finish living it, like food you know the taste only after you have eaten. When you come to know about it, it is over!! Like when the taste is good, you don’t mind eating more; you crave for life, when you realize the sweetness of life. But there is a difference here. Each time you eat the same food, it tastes almost the same. Each time, though you try to live the same life, it tastes different. You are provided with the same ingredients everyday by the universe and you need to make the right proportion of it. Though the ingredients are always same, the proportions vary. They are never the same!! This is something so unique and amazing about life!! This makes me wild and urges me to go after it again and again. And what I learned over years is, I need to master the proportions and not to worry on ingredients, so that life taste amazing each time, though I know I am never given the same measure of ingredients. While I make my broth, I knowingly or unknowingly learn the lessons of proportions, mix and matches required for an amazing life.

I think its time I put down some of those proportions I learned...


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